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So I have been talking to God over the last few days about the concept of small talk, kind of an interesting thing to talk to God about I thought but I couldn’t shake it. What He was telling me was to avoid small talk with Him, not that talking to God is bad by any means. Matthew 6:7 warns to avoid, “the same words again and again, as the Gentiles do: for they have the idea that God will give attention to them because of the number of their words.” All that to say that I started spending time with God and talking to Him just to hear Him, and attempt to get something from the conversation other than saying that I had done it. When I did that I came across Psalms 100:4, “Come into his doors with joy, and into his house with praise; give him honour, blessing his name.” I started doing that in an attempt to really get close to Him and hear what He had to say to me. It was really cool, I spent the time with Father to…spend time with Father and He planted the thought of my mind. Matthew 22:37 says, “And he said to him, Have love for the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” As I started to follow that and ask Papa about it, I was reminded of the song “We Prepare the Way.” The version I heard starts with “Oh Lord, give us new hearts and new minds for Your glory.” I started thinking about having a “new mind.” Romans 8:6 says, “For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” On that same note Romans 12:2 says, ” And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, in order to prove by you what is that good and pleasing and perfect will of God.” I think that to be knowledgable about what God has for me and what His will for my life is I have to constantly renew my mind, Ephesians 4:22-23 says, “For you ought to put off the old man (according to your way of living before) who is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind.” If I’m reading that right, Galatians 2:20 isn’t talking about only killing your flesh, but also, if not primarily, the killing of your old mind in order to think in the way of Father which can only be done through a new mind, one that is spiritually minded like Romans 8:6 says. Ephesians 4:24 goes on to say, “And you should put on the new man, who according to God was created in righteousness and true holiness.” That means that when I walk out Galatians 2:20, I’m not an improved version of myself but I am a new man! A man created in righteousness and true holiness! I’m no longer a man of the world; as Romans 12:2 says, a man not conformed, but transformed. I no longer live in the flesh. It’s crazy to me to think that I have known this for years without actually knowing it, or I’ve known this to a lesser degree. I’m amazed at what God shows me when I just want to spend time with Him. I hope this hasn’t been confusing, I sometimes jump around in a way that only makes sense to me but I hope that you guys can see how hard this hit me tonight.
In spending some time with Father and listening to my own thoughts as I did, I’ve realized that I have a pretty big fear of failure. I’m pretty sure that it’s the reason I haven’t finished school or started volunteering with youth. I’ve convinced…or allowed myself to be convinced that if I step out and try something I’m going to fail, and I would rather not try and fail, so I just don’t. I read a statement made by someone named Dr. Richard J. Krejicir on a site called “Into thy Word.” He said, “No fear of failure is the ability to take a risk and keep the focus and attention on our call and obedience!” I agree with that in my head, but by my life you wouldn’t know it. My question is this: How do you move past a fear of failure? If I’m scared like a little girl to step out, how do I take steps to work through it? Can you guys please help me with this, it may not be an internet sort of thing, but I’m kinda sorta tired of it.
Ecclesiastes 2:20-23- “So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. 21 For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. 22 What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? 23 All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.”
I was re-reading Ecclesiastes 2 tonight, as I did this passage really stuck out to me. A lot of times I tend to stress and despair about work, worrying about things and building up stuff. The thing I got from this passage is, why stress and worry about work? What do I get for all my toil and anxiety? Nothing. Matthew 6:27 says, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” It just kind of made me stop and think about things. I’m not saying I’m going to quit trying and quit doing an excellent job which surpasses all expectations, I’m just saying it made me think.
Ecclesiastes 2:24-25 ”A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?”
Tonight I read Ecclesiastes 1 and 2, it’s interesting to say the least. In chapter 1 the author talks about how meaningless wisdom is, that there is nothing new under the sun, verse 18 says “the more knowledge, the more grief.” Chapter 2 he begins by talking about the great wealth he has built up in property and posessions, also livestock and slaves. He says that he denied himself nothing. Towards the end he gets kind of bitter, but then he tells of the important thing. Verses 24-25. The cool thing that I saw in this is that it doesn’t matter what I do, for work or pleasure unless I am keeping God forefront in my life. “Without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?” Papa is the only one who gives me enjoyment, whether I’m a janitor or a CEO, Papa is the one who gives me enjoyment.
Psalms 27:13-14 “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”
So I had to go to court today in an attempt to have a ticket dismissed. To make a long story short I didn’t know I had to take defensive driving, then I received a letter from the court, then I had 15 days to complete defensive driving and turn in the certificate. Well the certificate was due yesterday and I had not received it in the mail yet, so I was pretty anxious. When I called the court and explained things I was told I had to see the judge, who was not very pleasant last time I was in his court. So I was almost to the courthouse and I thought, “I need to pray real quick as I walk in.” The Lord spoke and said, “Why would you wait until you are right in the middle of the situation before asking for my help.” Needless to say I stopped what I was doing, got quiet and spent some time praying before I got to the building. I was still a little nervous going in but the judge called my name and took my certificate like it was no big deal. It was a huge blessing for me because I really don’t need a ticket on my record. The moral of this not so short story is to wait on the Lord, He is good, He has good for me if I will just wait on Him instead of running in “half cocked.” This was a cool day for me, I spent a lot of my time praising Papa and staying in His presence as I went through the day. Also, it led me to this Psalms which I really enjoyed.
I have been struggling the last few weeks with spending the first part of my day with Papa, not necessarily a full blown quiet time but just spending time with Him at the beginnning of my day. Yesterday, I went to church and in the last few minutes Brady Boyd said, “Today has enough troubles of it’s own without adding tomorrow’s to it.” Father spoke to me and said, “That’s why you need to spend the first part of your day with me. Because there will be troubles and without me you can’t do it.” It was pretty cool because usually church is good but I dont normally get a specific word like that. So today I spent the first part of my day with Papa, and then continued to stay in his presence as I ran my errands and did my day to day stuff. It was amazing the difference that I felt. I was a lot more productive than I normally am, and I wasn’t tired or run down afterwards. I actually felt good. So that’s what my time with Father has been so far, I have high hopes for the rest of my night.
Philippians 1:18-20 “Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”
I was rereading Philippians 1 and this verse stood out to me differently tonight, its funny how the Living Word changes like that. Paul isn’t just considering it joy to go through trials, he’s confident and excited about what the trial will bring. Verse 20 is the main verse that hit me tonight, “…in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or death.” What hit me so hard is that Paul isn’t just gritting his teeth and bearing it for now, doing his best to rejoice, no he’s excited that through this expierience Christ will be exalted. I lose sight of that all too often. I may never know why some things happen to me, but if I can be used in those times to exalt Papa more, then it’s totally worth it. Now I just have to remember that when the time comes.
Philipians 1:12-30 is the story of one of Paul’s imprisonments and kind of his mindset about it and what would be accomplished through it. I’m not going to explain the whole thing because it’s pretty long, but if you get the chance I really liked it, you might as well.
Verses 12 and 13 say, “Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. 13As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ.”
– So Paul is in prison and he’s okay with it because He knows it’s advancing the gospel and that he is setting a good example for everyone.
Verses 23 and 24, “I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.”
– I really like this verse, Paul is saying that no matter what happens it’s going to work out good.
I was just really…impressed by this story. It kind of brings things into focus.
work was crazy tonight, i barely had time to think about what i was doing, let alone stop and spend some time with Papa. i spent some time worshipping Him this morning before work but i dont think it was enough quality time for the day. ill toss in the money for tonight, sorry for not doing what i committed to.
marshall
James 4:4 “Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God”
As I was reading James 4 tonight this verse stuck out to me, mainly because I didn’t know what “enmity” meant. So I looked it up and the definition kinf of surprised me. Enmity is a feeling or condition of hostility; hatred; ill will; animosity; antagonism. “Do you not know that friendship with the world is a feeling or condition of hostility, hatred, ill will, animosity and antagonism with God.” It just made stop and think about places in my life where I may not necessarily be in a place of sin, but maybe I’m not where I should be. After reading that verse, I can’t afford to even consider friendship with the world. Here’s how that looks to me in the day to day…well I know how it should go but I can’t honestly say that I will do this. I think this is a real struggle for me, to stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to Father’s promptings. Anyways, that’s where I was tonight and what I have been talking to Father about tonight.
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